No Jitters Here

Three days til the Wedding. Some would say it sounds like a town cryer alerting everyone of impending doom. Leg shackles, balls and chains. Others would consider it nerves. Counting days, hours, minutes til the most important moment in your life.

Meren thought of it as being Eager. Sure she was nervous. From a Hostess's point of view. No fiber of her being worried whether Michael would bolt for safer shores. He would never leave her standing alone at an altar made for two. The Elven Earl would not give thought to dallying one last time with some unfettered female right before he was to make Meren his bride. Many things in her life were colored grey with unknown worries. Michael Darkrose was not one of them. Secure in her love for him, more so in his love for her. So much so, when she found his journal, freshly written within, laying open on their bed, she smiled, closed the book and set it on his pillow.

Now she was at her desk, ticking off myriad items on a "to do" list as long as her leg. She took a breather to put a few of her own thoughts down for posterity. Her journal before her, quill freshly inked. Where to start?

"I want to leave in writing my thoughts and feelings regarding this time in my life. I fear this one journal is far from large enough. My mind has always been busy with personal and professional duties and obligations. That is what is so strange about now. This time I think only about love. Not just loving one man, or a home, children.

Time is blissfully consumed with family. Flesh and blood as well as those of choice. My own precious family has no drop of shared blood between them. However you will not find more dedication to making sure everyone knows they are loved and wanted, than among these beings.

I say beings because I refuse to leave out the wonderous gifts of our furred and winged members. Raj is a charming, purring diplomat. Also the source of many, many rows started in the house. Little Michelle was a blessed surprise. Tiny dragon or not, She enchants all who meet her. Then through no fault of her own really, since she is still a baby, she covers her new friends in snow. Blend those two with a rambunctious puppy, a self-centered tomcat and prissy calico kitten and one would declare it all came from someones bizarre imagination. No way in heaven or on earth such things could be real. These non-believers should have to clean up after this fivesome some time.

I have written about the children before. My own mean more to me than I can express. Michaels little one's asking me to be their mother, even now, leaves me teary eyed and speechless. Such a blended family is bound to have trials and tribulations. Strangely enough, Michael and I relish them. Such things mean we are together as a whole family. The two least mentioned though loved equally, would be Jack and this tiny gift Michael entrusted me with. Our first baby.

Magic has disproved Jacks relation to Michael well enough, but gods in the heavens, they are so alike it makes me shiver. I will, with great pride, take credit for being right in my choice of adding Jack to the family. Love, sense of place, respect and plenty of good food, has turned him into a fine young man. He is going to be as handsome as his "Father" also. I shall need the patience of all Saints to deal with suitors for my girls, and angry fathers thanks to my boys.

Now a few words regarding the unknown and eagerly awaited newest Darkrose. I openly admit to having given up on being mother to a child of my own body. That alone stems from failed attempts at being enough of a woman for the men I thought loved me. To convince them to stay and make our lives work. I am past that now. I am oddly glad for it having happened.. Without such pain and embarassment, I would not realize what a treasure I have in Michael. Without Him there would be no reason to write these words from a grateful and adoring heart. I would not be sitting here, jotting down words about how much I want to hold Our baby.

So, little one, whether you are to be a son or daughter, never, ever doubt that you are wanted and loved and always will be. Your father and I will do all in our power as your parents to prepare you for life in this crazy world, and even crazier family. Here with us you will know safety and comfort, warm embraces and tender words. You will also come to know your amazing siblings, and learn to defend and protect yourself from their unique choices of humor an bask in their generous affection."

She sat back for a moment. A little too much emotion for the moment. She should be writing about the wedding plans, but it was the day itself she would soon put to paper. Everything was ready. Everyone was past ready. She simply wanted to give Michael a night of declaration and celebration he would remember for many centuries to come. Memories keep things alive. Words give them substance all over again. He deserved that and much more.