Case Never Quite Closed

BJ arrived at the tower as requested...though he wandered a bit in the lower floor before a novice found him. It took a bit of time for the novice to figure out what was going on, but eventually he did, and led the Elf to an empty room, a bed, a chair, a fire burning. BJ gave a slight nod at the request to "stay put, and the Healer will see you"...and he paced the room, feeling caged::

Meren was actually in a dress, one of those expandable type dresses for her condition. An apron that worked well to accentuate it and a smile on her pretty face. Looking very much the proffessional. "BJ" clearly happy to see him as she entered.

He turned quickly, and his hand dropped to his side, but the Legacy had been left at home. It was but a moment, and quickly changed...as he bowed his head, his voice quiet:: Lady Healer.

She just chuckled. "Well, senses are not as sharp as I am used too, but your movements are" Motions him to sit down. "Why so edgy?"

Shakes his head, in denial:: I am not.

She did not believe him, but shrugged. "Are you having any residual pain from your run in with Michael?"

Shakes his head once more:: No...the physical injuries healed quite well.

"And the emotional ones?" For the moment keeping mental notes regarding her dear friend.

This time would not meet her gaze, instead turning to face the fire:: They are, healing.

Meren gave him a few moments to compose himself while she wrote down the things she has learned since coming in here. Finally she sat nearby. "How are Mali and Rae?"

BJ turns to look at her now, and he was haunted:: Well enough, I would guess. I have spent so much time at the Castle Library...at the City Library...I am never home anymore. This demand of the queen's consumes me. And with each thing I learn...He shuddered slightly:: I no longer rest at night. Mali and Rae...I am a stranger these days.

Winced. She knew the Queens edict was not such a good idea. "What things have you learned that trouble you the most?" purposely avoiding his eyes, simply taking notes.

Softly:: That to the Drow...anything is permissible...as long as ye are not caught.
Now she looked at him. "Anything?"

BJ nods, and stares at the fire, the dancing flames reflecting in his eyes:: Life...is sacred...but only to the extent it can be used...manipulated for power. After that manipulation, that...gain...it is as expendable as anything else.

"What worries you the most BJ. These til now unknown things about half of you that you have been able to control, or the temptation to lose the control and give in?"

Lowers his head, sadly:: The fear that I will lose control...and lose myself. Lose all I believe in.

"What happened to the quiet man whose simple convictions in life and its preservation was so important?"

Looks at her now, his eyes haunted:: I still believe in the preservation and protection of life...all life. ::Softly:: But that taste of the *power*...::Trails off::
Brows furrow deeply. "You enjoyed it?"

BJ does not meet her eyes, his tone guilty:: It was...intoxicating.

Going out on a limb here. "What was the most, intoxicating part of it?"

I know of the human saying...that power corrupts...but I question if corruption seeks power instead. ::Then considers her question, and rather embarrassed:: The..strength that came from the knowledge that I could do anything...*anything* I wanted...and to Hades with the consequences of my actions. ::he thought of a few nights with Mali...and he turned away to face the fire, the heat from the flames barely touching the heat of his embarrassment::

Meren nodded, "What did you want to do?"

::without turning to face her:: It is not what I wanted to do...but what I did do...

Oh that was indeed a different matter. "What did you do BJ? I am assuming it was something beyond the fight with Michael, perhaps the blatant flirting with the Queen."

His back stiffened, his shoulders straightened:: All that, Lady...and Mali...::not sure how much to say about his personal time with Mali...:

Nods, just putting on her best Healers smile and made a simple notation. "Now, you say you fear the power. Is it only "that" kind of power you worry about?"

BJ turns to look at her:: Power corrupts...and can send one down a path into deeper darkness.

This was going nowhere fast. His fears seemed to be consuming him. "What does Mali say of this?"

Shakes his head:: I do not know.

"Bj, I am going to say this as plainly as I can. I think you are using the Queens orders to hide from Mali, to avoid facing her with what happened. It is a Huge mistake."

Blinks, looking at her:: Do ye believe so?

"I do. She is your wife. She loves you, and you are shutting her out from fear. Now if I need to speak with the Queen on your behalf about this.. learning who you are.. I will. That is unless you are ready to risk being a single man again."

Thinking that perhaps she was right, that he had been hiding:: I do not wish to hurt her...::her last question was met with a vehement:: No.

"You are hurting her most of all by avoiding her."

He shivered in the warmth of the room, and gave a slow nod:: I will...speak with her. :looks at Meren, a soft question, but asked as a child would ask:: Will I lose myself?

Meren rose and went to him, a careful hand moving to cup his cheek. "No. I think you found yourself and wont let go now. Besides, Mali is your rock. She is where you go when you start feeling lost."

BJ stilled the flinch that started, just a barely there twitch...and raised his gaze to look at her:: I do not want to become that Thing again.

"I know." giving his eyes a quick look see before letting her hand fall back to her side. "I think physically I can sign off on your chart. It is however the Doctors orders that you go home and heal your existing problems there"

A soft sigh...and he nodded:: Asanque, Jallil...as ye wish.

"Merci mon ami" winks at him and quietly escorts him out into the daylight. "Take your family something special home, a simple surprise and just relax." She on the other hand had paperwork to go do.