Siobhan sits at her desk and takes up a quill, sliding her little book of memories closer to her. She had meant to write this down some time ago. The business of the kingdom had kept her from a good amount of time to sit and actually write a decent accounting of her time while away from her home land.
She had been sad to leave her beloved homeland, and so suddenly, but she had felt the need to leave. Confusion had taken over her life. Confusion between the aspects of the powers of Avalon and the one true God and his Son that she shared with her Father. Her sight worried her still, and before she left she felt wracked with concern over it. It seemed to come at the most inopportune times.
The sight didn’t always gift her with anything helpful. Sometimes time spent to long looking into her watch basin as she scrubbed her cheeks brought rise to a scent of lavender or a feeling of sunshine. Something that was duplicated the very next day. A sense of de ja vu. A tired evening ended in front of a fire in her chambers and a soft warm chair would relax her and bring a wave of vision. Simple as a horse flying across hilly green pastures or a hawk catching a very specific woodland creature. A laughing image of her Mother.
It was one such seeing that prompted her sudden leaving from Solurius. She had found that ignoring these images only made them harder to deal with. If the sight wished to come than it would come. No fighting or angry screaming would do away with it. Instead she found it better to try to regulate it. To slow it.
She had made the decision to try to embrace it better. She refused to give herself over to it completely. She would not let it rule her. She also would not go to Avalon and study its mysteries. The God and his Son were her true Lords. She would have no Lady master her. With this in mind she went searching. A few things of necessity and plain clothing were all she carried. A simple mare with basic tack was all she road. Rude provisions in decent store were what would sustain her.
With nary a whisper the Princess of the realm took her leave. A note left for her parents were all that would mark her leave taking. She regretted the way in which she felt she must go, but she couldn’t tell them. Not yet. They would worry, yes, but this way they wouldn’t be able to stop her.
She had no real idea where she would go. She’d considered several religious options but discarded them with trepidation. She didn’t want to try to excise the visions. She didn’t believe that was possibly anyway. She felt, however, that if she went to such a Christian place as a monastery or otherwise they would focus on the supposed ‘evil’ of them and of the perceived female aspect of God.
She had heard of an order of sisters. They called themselves the Sisters of the Veil and were something separate yet apart from the other convents of Christianity. Her steps would guide her there she hoped. All she’d heard were rumours and speculation.
The first night she stopped she made a rude camp near a stream. As she washed her face in its clear depths an odd, silver fish dashed across her visions. She laughed and withdrew her hands. The water stilled and the fish sped across again. Its silver scales picked up the flash of the full moon as it danced back and forth until she realized there was not one but many. She felt her muscles relax as the fish swam and sped around each other. She felt her eyes widen and couldn’t stop herself from gazing into them. Through them. Deep into the reflection of the moon. The water seemed to swirl up, and she felt as though she were falling into it.
She felt warm air swirl around her just as the fish seemed to. A rushing sound passed her ears and her vision seemed to crush in around her. She suddenly heard a strange sound like signing. Many female voices in cheerful song. She stared across a grass plane. Beautiful wild flowers dot its peaceful green. The horizon ends in mountains with a distinct single peak most apparent. Its shape is odd, like a lopsided heart. She looks toward that mountain, and her heart swells a little. It was almost as though a warm hand had been laid across it, and she could more feel than hear a loving voice speak. “Go there, my daughter.”
As the vision ended suddenly she started violently, like a person being woken as they nodded off. The fish were gone and a cloud had gone over the moon. “Could it really be that simple?” she thought to herself. The feeling had to have come from her God. She closes her eyes and bows her head as she clasps her hands, “My Lord, please continue to guide my steps,” she prayed silently before curling up atop her palette. She didn’t know when she slept, but she slept a sleep of peace that night. She was certain the path she was on was correct. Tomorrow she would find those mountains.
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